You are certainly limited to what you can do, as far as consequences. Life, itself, usually is the best teacher of consequences. Also, don't set out to punish her, thinking you are giving her consequences, know what I mean? Sometimes you may have to check yourself to see if you have punitive motives.
Withdrawing all means of support (financial, emotional, physical, family, assistance, help, etc.) is usually the best and fastest way, IMO. She no longer wants to be your wife, so you need to withdraw the things that came with being your wife. Most WW's want the advantages of M, without the disadvantages.
As I said before, don't shoot yourself in the foot by withdrawing insurance or something that could end in you paying the bill. You have already stopped contact. So, basically withdrawing yourself and letting her go, is about all you can do at this point.
Your daughter is the thread that will keep you tied. There may be times you both will attend an event for your daughter, and it should be all about your daughter and not your WW & you. Otherwise, I would suggest that you not get involved in any family type of activities. No dinners together, no traditional holiday celebration as a family, no buying gifts and sending cards. Except for the few times you may see her while at your daughter's, you will basically go dark on her. As far as she knows........you fell off planet earth. The purpose is not to be mean and hurt her, but to show her what life without you would be like for her.
Since she is living in another town, I think I would change the locks on the house. If you have not had a free legal consultation, maybe you could check to see where you stand legally.
She will have to see how sorry this OM is........and he may get physical with her, too. The fog will work like blinders for a while, but eventually, she will start to see. Life is a harsh teacher, and it will show her what she has lost due to her decision.
Just be careful about burning bridges, if you still want her back. Chose your battles wisely. You can't control her life, you can only control yourself.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
