in house S (5)

[vise82]

Hey,

Just had my interview for a promotion and they basically said now is not the time for me. That the interview was a courtesy to me. I guess it is what it is.

It has kept my mind of my sitch for a bit so it was good I applied.

Last night W came home late as she works late, I got hair cuts for the kids. We were watching a movie in the basement and W comes down to watch with us. Kids had to go to be W took one kid and I took the other to bed. Then with no kids around she stayed in her part of the house. I didn't want to watch TV by myself so I did other stuff but it feels weird to not be able to just sit with her.

This morning she is up before I am. Normal stuff, good byes to the kids and oldest was in the same room as W I hug and tell him I love him, then I just say to W Ok see you later, she says bye. Again it feels like I should give her a hug and say I love you to her. I feel like I am setting a bad example for my S6.

I know I cant do that right now but he doesn't know that. But I have touched that hot stove before and it just sends her so far away from me it hurts.

What we have right now seems to be working. Even though I want more W doesn't right now. I have to be strong and just hopefully it changes for her.

After my good bye to W she was agitated and dug into me for leaving something electronic in the car over night. I can only think the good bye situation triggered it. I think in a sitch like that in front of the kids I could get away with a hug. This is what goes through my mind now. But for obvious reasons I don't do it.