Thank you but it wasn't a quick or easy path for me getting here. I was far too invested in her to the degree it was almost (or maybe was) codependent or borderline coD. Had to sort through that. But I did it so it can definitely be done!
My W has had multiple EAs/PAs. I know about 3 over the last 10 years. I have not deliberately told the boys and don't ever intend to unless some situation I can't possibly foresee makes that necessary. The first one was particularly bad: Went on for several years, OM divorced his W for my W, ended up getting herpes from the OM, and possibly passed it on to our son who began getting cold sores just a couple months after all this came out.
My anger was high. We had many loud arguments over it in our bedroom but the boys were in the house. I tried to keep the details down but they may have heard something. They definitely heard us fighting for a while. It was bad and I regret having handled it that way. But it's what I did.
