Next Step?

[woundedfool]

I understand. Do they ever show remorse in an affair?

Sometimes. Why is that important to you?

or if it is a MLC it sounds as if I may as well move on.

Why?

She has made the comment that all this stuff in the house is just stuff. If the house burned down oh well, its just stuff. She used to be very attached to these items especially things that belonged to her parents.

Experiences in life can change those views. And we are not so rigid that we cannot change opinions or views. Especially as you get older, maybe instead of the memories, you look to pass on a legacy.

And doesn't this all boil down to choices? Seems to me that we can have alot of excuses why things happen but the freedom to choose she is aware of and she is choosing to walk away from her family.

As much as I wish it was, its not that simple.

I want to save this marriage but at times it is overwhelming to think about and get absolutely no response

It is overwhelming, for all involved. But don't be hung up on no responses, remember she has immersed herself into this new life to avoid dealing with the old one. That is why it is very important for you to GAL! Its overwhelming when you think of it ALL THE TIME.

What scares me is that when and if she does wake up and realizes what she has done she will committ suicide. She spoke of this last spring when this all first started. Several times she said this. I dont know if she stills feels this way or not.

I have no real comment or advice here, other then you mention it about 180's that you need to stop trying to fix her.

Why wouldn't she file for divorce herself if she wanted out? seems to me if she wants out then she would do this on her own.

Excellent question, but that is for her to sort out.

Its not my duty to file for her. That just removes her guilt from filing.

I can't disagree. However, I would still recommend talking to an attorney about sorting out your legal obligations.