I keep re-reading Sandi2's 37 rules. I've failed at so many time and time again. I don't know if I can ever recoup from my latest meltdown.
These are the rules I broke:
18. Do not be nasty, angry or even cold -
19. No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and contentment.
21. Never lose your cool! Don't let your spouse trap you into a fight. Don't take her/his bait.....leave the room or the house for a while, if you have to, in order to avoid a fight.
23. Do not argue about how your spouse feels about something (it only makes his/her feelings more negative.) Only they know how they feel!
24. Be patient......very, very patient. Give your spouse space and time.
25. Listen carefully to what your spouse is really saying to you. Look them in the eyes when they talk to you. Do not interrupt them when they are speaking and stop what you may be working on to look at them when they talk.
26. Learn to back off, shut up and walk away when you want to speak out (or scream and yell).
28. Be strong and confident and learn to speak softly.
30. Do not be openly show that you are "desperate" or "needy" even when you are hurting more than ever and truly feel desperate and needy. This is a large turn-off for your spouse.
Yola, you are being WAY too hard on yourself. And, you are only seeing the negative...look for the positives. You did NOT break rules 1-17! That's gotta count for something.
Your husband was trying to be a cake eater and you let him know that you absolutely will not put up with that. I don't think that's a terrible thing. He now knows that you're not desperate enough to let him manipulate you and use you as a doormat. Keep your head up and start following Sandi's rules again. One foot in front of the other, one breath at a time, you can do this. I'm really sorry that you have to, but you CAN do it.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
