Don't know what to do anymore...

[Painter]

We had a DB counselor until H didn't want to go to counseling anymore earlier this year. I contacted her yesterday and I'm waiting to hear back.

My plan is to talk to the L today, then talk to H tonight. I plan on just showing him the printouts of the e-mails and ask him what he has to say about it.
I think I will be able to stay calm. It feels like someone died, I'm more devastated than angry.

H knows that I want to talk about something. I was sad yesterday, our last conversation was that I said I was sorry for anything I had done to contribute to bring us here, and sorry for the choices he has made. I tried to let him know that I know something, hoping he would come clean, but he is adamant in his lying. There is no relationship with OW, she is engaged to another man (she mentioned a fiance on her FB-page a while back and I suspected it was H all along, but he acted as if he was in shock), he has only e-mailed with her sporadically.
We've been here before, less than a year ago, this was how he reacted when I had proof last time.

He asked me this morning what I wanted to talk about, and I just said 'about going forward'. He said something about waiting until after the holidays, that after last night he thought we were in a good place, but I said this is too big to sweep under the rug.