Don't know what to do anymore...

[Zues126]

Painter...do you have a DB coach? I don't disagree with a L, but I think a DB coach would be critical here as well.

WAS's truly operate in a universe with a different law of physics. I mean, I don't think he's lying to you...but I don't think he's lying to her either...I'm no mindreader but from what I know of addicts he's just unable to stop the addiction and doing what he can to avoid consequences and to still get his fix as long as possible.

Motives and intentions aside, the reality is that he is betraying your trust. I think it makes total sense to protect yourself legally and emotionally, and be prepared for walking the road you have to walk if he doesn't have what it takes to admit that he needs help beyond willpower and truly make a NC letter and work with a counselor to get the help he needs. Still, it might be nice to see if this is an option that he is prepared to act on...the only thing is I wouldn't want him to think that is a standing offer as it is clear he will kick and scream and do anything to buy more time so he doesn't have to take action.

For that reason...walking the balance of protecting your finances and emotions, and allowing him to see the consequences of his behavior...the balance between showing with your actions you won't accept that in your life and you aren't going to wait around for him to soul search, without burning a bridge and driving him to OW because he feels you've made the decision for him...trick stuff. For that I think a DB coach is essential.

Until then you know what to do, you've been doing it. Hang in.