Inch by inch forward

[MrBond]

Only you can determine how much you can take. In my sitch, it took 3 years. But today we have a very successful M.

[Di-mond]

MrBond,

I don't know if I could last that long. H and I were only together 5 years before he left, but for now I'm still standing.

JPEG,

You are in Canada as well? I'm just north of TO. I'm thinking an all inclusive trip south is in order for me too.

[Jpeg]

Hi Di- I am just south of TO. It's been so mild recently. But it's the "all inclusive" part that I am looking forward to. No cooking, no driving kids anywhere - hopefully no thinking of H. Just relaxation.

[Jpeg]

Mr Bond. - I am patient I have said from start I will wait for H forever - but he is done. So I struggled with taking action (re lawyer) because I do not want to end our marriage but H is not contributing his share for expenses , kids, education etc. he is raking up credit, living with OW and spending money on her
You waited 3 years and then reconciliation happened?- or was there progress throughout the 3 years?

[Jpeg]

Feyth- thank you for those 3 words- it is crazy how this roller coaster swings from hope to despair back and forth up and down. I was feeling quite hopeless but tonight I am hopeful . In mass this am the priest spoke of preparing for,restoration and he quoted from Steve Jobs about the importance of healing relationships. I spent some time at my in laws with the kids and I feel hope again

[mutatio]

Hope is important, without it despair can appear. Jpeg regardless of what happens treat yourself well. Bring some light into your life.

[Jpeg]

Thanks Mutatio- I have felt such despair and also hope. I just have to decide what it is I am hoping for

[MrBond]

Maybe I missed it earlier in your posts, but are the children from you first M?

[Jpeg]

MrBond- was that question for me? I have only been married once for 27 years. We have 5 children together

[Georgia Bulldogs]

I am patient I have said from start I will wait for H forever - but he is done. So I struggled with taking action (re lawyer) because I do not want to end our marriage but H is not contributing his share for expenses , kids, education etc. he is raking up credit, living with OW and spending money on her
You waited 3 years and then reconciliation happened?- or was there progress throughout the 3 years?

If you go dark and start the process of rebuilding your own life without him you MAY be able to "wait for H forever" if you just don't date. However, if you keep in contact with him he will slowly but surely drain ever last drip out of your love tank and you will either come to hate him OR have a nervous breakdown.

You CAN wait and protect yourself in the meantime. Hiring an attorney and holding him legally accountable for supporting his wife and children is exactly the type of consequences he needs endure. To let him continue unabated is simply enabling him.

You teach people how to treat you. If the lesson is "I'm your doormat", he'll keep wiping his feet.