Just keep swimming in a new direction

[JksD]

Thanks tl2 and Fogg. Your responses keep me sane and remind me not to become Chicken Little.

I must have a game plan or I will be thrown off by my affection for my ex-fil. I will stand behind my decision to have NC btw kid and OW and back it with the court counsellor's suggestion.

No to taking the kid overseas without me as well. That would be stretching the parenting agreement too far.

If he asks that I try for R, I will stick to my script that there is no point for a R if OW is still in the picture and the X isn't willing to have NC. Well, the existence of the OW and the X's unwillingness to have NC were why the previous 2 attempts at R failed.

I have to get on with my life. I think the ex-fil finds it hard to understand how I will want to get on with my life if there isnt an OM in the picture. Funny how they are projecting their guilt over the A on me. I tried telling him over and over again that even though I have feelings for his son, and I will love to have a complete family again for the sake of kid, it just can't be. And it's not me, it's the X who has to realise what it is that he wants to fight for.

I have intel that the X was supposed to have married the OW right after the D and move in with her. I guessed as much from his actions and his eagerness to push ahead with the D. That is why I keep steeling myself and kid for this punch in the gut.

The X insists that just because he's seeing her doesn't mean he's going to marry her. He says that just because I am seeing someone doesn't mean I am going to marry him. I told him that I date with a long-time commitment in mind. No FWB for me.

So many lies. I wonder if he realises he's insulting my intelligence.