It's easy to fall into the trap of assuming that since the LBS is standing for their M that they must have gotten some fulfillment or satisfaction from the M the WAS did not.
We all KNOW that isn't the case.
The only difference between the WAS and LBS is the LBS doesn't believe in divorce. They don't believe in compromising the outcome of a lasting marriage, they believe in compromising what they can accept in their life until a fulfilling marriage becomes possible.
I hear you question whether it makes sense to stand. Right now the answer is 'yes'. Not because you miss the relationship. Because you vowed to. Once a divorce is finalized and/or an A is discovered then that is your decision to make. But the minute your commitment to your M hinges on factors that mirror WAS's then you are basically validating his decision to leave because that's the same road he was on.
MWD acknowledged that saving a marriage isn't about fair. Right now you are doing all of the work, not because you enjoyed being M more, but because you have to.
All I can say is that WAH is doing the best he can. He clearly has a cross he is bearing. As a supportive wife let him bear it and see if he makes it through. While there is nothing that excuses walking out of a M in my mind that doesn't mean I can't feel compassion for the suffering of a WAS.
You've done a great job being open-minded to this so this wasn't meant to be 'educational', I was actually trying to validate that I understand how tough it is. Probably a bad job at validating, no wonder WW had to throw me out
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
