Striving to keep the peace within

[job]

If your h wants to be a part of your life, he needs to take the necessary steps. Sometimes, we have to let them go in order for them to grow up. Yes, by leaving him alone, you are honoring his wishes.

Let me put it to you this way...how can he miss you, your son and the life he had w/the both of you if he asked about joining in on family events? He can't. He's not spending enough time alone to actually miss the life he had w/you.

I would continue on making my own plans and if he should inquire about the tree, you then could tell him that you've gotten the tree already and have begun to decorate. Now, that would leave the door ajar for him to offer to come over and you could go from there...but to ask him about going...I still think you should go ahead unless you hear from him by the time you want to purchase one.

I'm glad you responded to the invite of your MIL. She still wants you to know that you are welcome and are family.

Okay, I'm going to give you another scenario about the jokes. Is it possible that your h is using his work buddy's computer to send jokes to you? People in crisis have been known to do this because it's safer and they can interact w/you w/o you even knowing it's them. Also, your h could have asked him to send those jokes to see how you would respond. Just food for thought.

I do think you've got a very good handle on your situation. The only thing I suggest is letting go, giving him the space and time to figure things out. Keep those expectations at zero and do not worry too much about what he said about you being happier. He doesn't realize how many egg shells you walked on while living under one roof.

Hang in there!