mleigh, It's time to step back and allow your h to make decisions on his own w/o your assistance. He'll never grow up and learn how to make decisions if you are there to "save" him. Part of growing up is learning responsibility and accountability. Give your h the gift of time and space. He will grow up, but it will be on his own time clock.
You and your son will enjoy yourselves in selecting a Christmas tree. Your h won't miss you, your son and the many activities that you share if he's there w/you every step of the way. The only saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true. Select a tree, dress the tree and then if you want to invite him over for a toddy and/or cookies, then do so. Make sure the house smells of delicious foods and warm memories so that he has something to take back to the "ranch" to think about.
You are doing very well and I hope that your h realizes what a treasure you are and will come home in the coming year.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
