Bridges that cross the Universe!

[Mona52]

Hi Di,

My H also got mad because I would not force the kids to do more. I grew up in a house that was constantly at war with each other. I was the only peacekeeper for mom, dad and 2 sisters. I took care of as much as I could so that they did not have to fight.

So with my children and H, I took on the same role. I did everything so they would have nothing to fight with each other.

My H never told the kids to help, and he also never helped, but he complained that things did not get done.

So, I feel exactly how you feel. He is so, so selfish! I am beginning to see my role in his selfishness, and my wanting to make sure no one was upset may be the biggest reason he appears selfish. I am sure there were time in the past when he tried to step up and tell the kids what to do. And me, being peacemaker, ran in and saved the kids. I am sure I stepped in way more than once or twice. So why would he try to make the kids help, when every time he does, he gets resentment from me?

I cannot take all the blame for his actions, but I can clearly see my part in them.