Thank you Mutatio. I do not want to divorce. I just sometimes feel like it is hopeless and if we are going to end up D anyway, might as well start the process instead of prolonging it. But, no that is not what I want.
On the positive side, he has agreed to attend family counseling tomorrow. Unfortunately with him leaving so soon, I can't imagine how much we can accomplish in one or two sessions, but it is a step in the right direction. He also took S9 out this weekend and they seemed to bond really well, and keep talking about their experience and how they will make this a regular thing when H gets back this summer. So he is talking about coming back? That is a good sign.
And here is a strange one. A friend of mine posted a picture of me on FB the other day. A very unflattering picture, and I am not photogenic to start with. I am very pale and I just don't photograph well. I was half asleep, drifting in and out and I saw H on FB, he enlarged the picture so my face filled the entire screen and he was staring at it, then he'd look at me, then back at the picture again. Let me remind you this was one ugly picture. I pretended to be asleep- actually was in and out- but didn't say anything. WTF is that all about? I felt awful. I am going to get a great pic of myself and make that my profile picture. He probably wouldn't even look at that one.
