Friday my Kids birthday party was good. 12 kids were there and W and I are a good team for this type of stuff, we have had many parties with lots of kids and it always works out. I took more control this time and lead the kids through each part of the party.
It was like old times but reality hits when the kids go to bed and we go to separate areas of the house. Its getting hard when I feel like we are connecting not to pursue. Ask to watch a movie togtether. or what ever. I wont, she needs her space right now.
Saturday W was home all day with us. S6 had birthday party to go to. so W and I took the younger son out to look at toys. Then picked up S6 and we all went to a Santa parade. W parents usually go with us. Its unusual that we do anything just the four of us because of my W attachment to her family but I think Its important that we do stuff just the four of us. It creates bonds that cant be created when with a group. Needless to say it was great, I was so happy to be doing it as a family. W was happy too smiling and laughing at my jokes.
Its has to be hard to walk away from good times like that.
The next day Sunday S6 had W parents giving him gifts during Sunday dinner. I don't go anymore and have GAL dog training and soccer. When my youngest had his party at the in-laws I missed it and W was so made she took her rings off (they were put on the next day) telling everyone that how bad a father I was for missing my sons birthday party. This time she wasn't mad, she let my S6 know that he will be getting his gifts from W and I on his actual birthday.
There was no fighting, only a mention that I never shut lights off around the house and the dog had no water, that I need to watch for when the water runs out.
W has already emailed me and texted me today, both about the kids.
I seen in the car trunk W got me shoes, but I don't know if she is going to give them to me or she will let the kids give them to me. This has pushed me to get a list going for gifts, I have to get for the inlaws.
W called me to asked about a tv and Said that she and her brother are going together on a gift for her parents. Usually I was in on it as well. I mentioned about the tv being too small and left it at that. I wasn't going to offer to be part of that gift. I want her to ask.
Seems like everything was going good for taking care of the kids, its just W and I not getting past that point of OK lets try again. It seems like its all there just waiting for W to just say it already.
I am holding back so much as it has to come from her. But we have been having so many good interactions and I can feel that spark is still there.
She called to me to talk to me the other day as she was putting a shirt on and as she was talking I totally checked her out, and then she did the same to me. I have lost 25 lbs, and I have been wearing clothes that I have had but didn't fit me anymore. I am doing my best to look my best. In dog school I have been getting attention from women. My W has not said one thing to me about my weight loss, or looking better. But this amount of weight loss cannot go unseen.
What keeps me going right now is Christmas, I am hoping for a connection then. This is what keeps me DB right now.
Tonight GAL taking the kids to get there hair cut then out for dinner.
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016
