Well, that's probably been the first time I've been called a poster boy! Ha, ha!
Ghost, this next bit is really for you.
I look at it like this; I couldn't control what was going on. I tried and realised it was actually making things worse. Yes, I was sometimes a bit like Ghost is at the moment - desperately clinging to the hope my W would see how much hurt she was causing, and would return.
One day (actually, after a face to face with NDY) and listening to Rd and Azzork (amongst others), I actually just decided to give up the fighting and go with it. I think it's referred to as dropping the fear. It was gonna happen, so embrace and go for positivity. It's the only way. That fear will kill you. It's going to happen, so, let it, and see what happens.
As for me, W has been at my flat every day since we moved out. Most of this is due to the restrictions placed on her B&B. She needs clothes to wear, the kids need clothes and she needed facilities. If she's ever going to return, you have to let something's just happen, as if it's a normal day. In return, W has been chatty, friendly and positive herself. I've got guarantees about seeing the kids and she's not pursuing me for a D. I don't beg, plead or look sad.
W has been to see her new temporary accommodation, which she moves in to today. In her words 'it's grim'. It was difficult not to say beggars can't be choosers, but even now, sometimes, you just have to have a drink on a STFU smoothie! She's called today about having no money. I wasn't nasty or harsh, but reminded her that she had her own credit card and that she'd have to manage herself. You could hear the fright in her voice, but, the bird has to see how hard catching the worm is. Of course, I have provided food etc. for the kids until she gets herself together.
Early days, but it's OK!
My confidence has returned and the way W has started to react towards me has started to change. It's not easy
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
