Dealing with WW, Divorce, and Kids 3

[WhyUs]

I have not posted as much lately or read others threads as much. I have not been as absorbed by my situation as much. I feel much better. I've gained back 15 pounds.--not all good weight, but it shows I have my appetite back.

WW continues to do ridiculous things to keep the kids from me but for some reason it is not bothering me as much. I feel confident that when we go for our custody hearing I will get a better deal than what I have now. More and more I wonder just how much custody I really want. Sometimes I feel like I would be find with the current agreement if I had Right of First Refusal. Other times I feel like I need to take the kids as the primary custodian because WW is going to screw them up.

By the way, she got in a wreck the other day and my oldest was in the front seat without a seatbelt on.--Just another dumb move on her part. She would have never done something like this before. She has certainly relaxed in the parenting department to say the least. I don't know if the police reported this, my D7 just told me about it.

I can confidently say that if WW approached me about getting back together I would say no. This is a far cry from where I was 6 months ago. I do not want her anymore. I do not want her drama, her crazy family, or her lies. It is just too much. Part of me hates that I feel this way because she told me that I would see that the D was better. I really do not want to give her that. I still do not think her having and A and wanting a D was the best route.

If the A never happened and the D was never filed I think things would have been okay. What's done is done, we can not go back in time. I can not fix the damage and neither can she. I have reached a point where going forward is the path of least resistance. I talk with me IC today. I am curious as to what she will say about my current state of mind. I imagine she will say it is healthy but to anticipate it to change and sway back and forth.