Don't know what to do anymore...

[Painter]

Last night, for the first time, I had contact with OW. I sent her a text and asked her to stop pursuing my H. I don't really think she will, but I wanted to let her know that I know what she's doing, and that she can't say she thought we were separated or that I'm a non-entity that she can push out of her mind.

It was interesting in that she denied nothing and made no excuses. She reminded me extremely of H's ex-wife, who has borderline personality disorder and writes in a strange, formal style that has little to do with reality. It's like they think that if they only write nice and flourishing words that sound good, it doesn't matter what they actually do. I sent a couple of the messages to my stepdaughter, who was also struck by the similarity (H involved his daughter, but she and I are very close, so it backfired on him a little).

It was nice to tell OW what I thought of her actions. At this point, I don't really worry about the consequences.

I woke H up afterwards (I was wide awake and shaking and figured I wasn't going to worry too much about making him sleepless, too) - and he mainly kept reiterating that there was nothing between them.

And no, I wasn't aiming for detachment and I didn't find this approach in DR. But it felt good. I was tired of being so reasonable and calm.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming...