onward - 13

[u-turn]

Hi Vanilla - I hope you are doing well.
I am not going to get through this whole response, but wanted to let you know that I am putting a lot of thought toward this and will answer you.

(I didn't get very far answering your last round of questions about writing the next book in my series. I am still mulling that one over, but still feel like I am between books yet - maybe a comic book to hold us over until I get a clearer view. I have an idea about who the lead character is though)

I received historic docs the other day from the IRS but they only contained my information and not STBXW. I sent her an e-mail last night updating her about the payment I made for the state tax and the payment I made for federal tax. I also let her know that I was informed about our unfiled taxes for the last 5 years and that I am getting this back on track but need her to contact the IRS for her information.

I am contacting an accountant that was referred to me by a friend on Monday to see if I can afford to get help with this.
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I didn't see Inside out, but it is one that I really want to see. (I loved watching all of the Disney movies with the kids)

I am wondering - do you think you are always feeling something? I mean, if there are these 5 or 6 feelings, are there mostly down times between these feelings?

I do think that I mix up feelings and beliefs and may allow thoughts and beliefs to change or squash feelings. I still find myself trying to stop feeling and emotion. Especially the sad feelings I get when I talk to people about myself.

I was at my parents house this weekend just stopping by to say hi.
The conversation turned toward christmas and I felt myself pulling back and welling up. My problem is with the kids. I don't have anything that would remind them of christmas from the past, I don't have any money for gifts....all of this makes me very sad and makes me question what I have done. (I know this is sadness).

My parents offered to help me, but then there's my pride. I may take them up on the help (if some money from the business doesn't come in this week - very slow paying clients).

I am going to continue with this tomorrow - have to get up in a couple hours.

Thank you V