Good news is that she has not given you a definitive "I want a divorce". She is letting you know she is not happy, and says "I don't know" and "I think". (Similar to my husband) so on some level she is still attached. Don't ask her about future anymore...trust me, you don't want to push her into a response because it will only be negative if it's too early for her. Work on changing things about you that she was unhappy with (they do notice even when not around and even if they don't acknowledge right away). Most of all, be patient.
Just a suggestion but DBing says doing a 180. What is your 180 if you admit to being unavailable emotionally? You mention you shut down on her completely? Is that helping? Or is that something that bothered her in the first place? A lot of people on these boards say no contact or make yourself unavailable, but that is only in some cases (usually when their is infidelity). Speaking as a wife whose husband is a workaholic and I feel very neglectful, that would make things worse in my case. Have you reflected on things your wife was unhappy with? What would she say are things she would change about you?
Everyone's situation is different and each personality is different as well. I did talk to a coach and received a lot of help. Their advise Can sometimes be different then what is given on boards. I was told to be friendly and to "act as if". And that good feelings and positivity are contagious
BTW, I had same experience with counseling. Big waste. We just ended up rehashing fights we had already gotten over.
Good luck!
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
