My WW - Trying To Stay Strong

[Strngr!]

So got home from night out with freinds and W is sleeping in MBR again. Wtf i should just wake her up and tell her i told her our MBR is for people who are committee to our M and thay she can move back to the spare bed or the couch.

[Strngr!]

So i told he she should sleep on the couch she asked why i told her she knows why we had this comvo. Because thed is for peole commiteed to our R. She just stormed of and said something like i will remner this wje tje time come she said ill remember your were a jerk.

[ATPeace]

Don't want to beat a dead horse but I have experience with this one. Do not leave the marital house for any circumstances. Not even a night. That's considered abandonment and now you're the bad guy. I've been there.

What about over Christmas ...I am considering going to my sisters for a couple of days

[Strngr!]

So what kind of separation is going happen? In-house or is she moving out? If it is in-house you might wait to tell your parents. It's not important at the moment. Think about what would happen when you reconcile. Would you wish you didn't tell the world? Think long term effects on your actions. Don't get caught up in the emotions at the moment.

Right now its still in house seperation but o guess we havent discussed any details im leaving thay up to her to initiate and dragging my feet when sje brings it up since shes the one who wants this seperation. We had to tell our family cause there was no believable lie we could tell to them why bday was cancelled and we didnt want to continue faking that things were ok. I have extended family christmas party today and w doesnt want to come just gona tell people were having some marital problems and im doing my best to work through them with her. Not going into any details with anyone. Dont know other option there is. People will ask why shes not there.

[Strngr!]

Went to church this morning with the little guy s1. On my way out the dpor w says something like why are you going to church all of a sudden i said im picking up s1 early this morning anyways might as well bring him to church. She followed by saying sure now everyone is going to think i was preventing you from going to chuch and said i dont care about her anyways. I said we used to go to church everyweek. She said well why did we stop i said i guess life got busy. Then i left. It was nice to go to church im not doing it to make her look bad or anything. Here mindset is so messed up so selfish and defensive.

[mvgfwd2]

Ghost
Leaving for a trip or out of town on business type things are not the same as moving out. It's the officially moving out that is a potential problem with abandonment and such. And your spouse can't lock you out of your own house. The police can help you if that happens.

StongJ
You did good. Be strong and let the crazy spew just fall off you. Nothing you do or say will change it from coming and may make things worse.
It's amazing she thought it was OK to go back to the MBR like nothing happened.

[Strngr!]

It's amazing she thought it was OK to go back to the MBR like nothing happened.

I think it comes down to 3 things
A) she was intoxicated after coming home from bday celabration with her bro.
B) she got home first so she thought it was her right to claim the bed
C) The only reason she gave it up befor was because she thought she was being the bigger person.

Anytime the bed thing comes up im quite clear about saying MBR is for people who are committed to our M and i say that she proved she isnt by carrying on with OM. Im not sure that message is getting acroas to her though.

[Strngr!]

Had a bit of a sad moment tonight. I went to my family christmas with S1 and no W. My mom and dad and sister and bro inlaw sent home gifts and cards with me even though they know were seperated. They said some realy nice things in the cards and wished the 3 of us the best talked about hoping and praying thay we can work things out. W cried when she read the cards. So i wanted to see what they said so i read them when she was out at the store in case they made me cry too. Well they did make me cry. I feel like everyone except my w and om are rooting for us to work through things and to save oir M. Im trying to detatch emotionally but those cards tugged at my heart strings. Wife also caught me crying and came over and gave me a hug. Probably not the best thing but the hug was nice.

[mvgfwd2]

Be strong, GAL, and try not to pursue. The hug was nice, but it means NOTHING as long as OM is still around.

[Strngr!]

Be strong, GAL, and try not to pursue. The hug was nice, but it means NOTHING as long as OM is still around.

Agree 100%! Ill admit i pulled back a bit cause i was like do i realy want this from her right now. Just we had had zero physical contact for id say 2-3 weeks it reminded me of what im missing didnt realy help with my efforts to detatch.