Wife checked out

[2ltl2lt]

The concert date was nice, we actually had a good time. I ended up taking her back to MIL house afterwards. I was kind of hoping she would want to come home and stay with me for the night, but she said she was tired and needed to get up early. The kids were there at MILs too. She was going to meet with one of her "new friends " the next morning and I was picking up the kids to go cut our Christmas tree. When I was on my way to get them she calls me to see if she could meet us at the tree farm. I said it was up to her that we would be there anyway. She met us there but stayed glued to her damn phone the entire time and really just aggravated the good time me and the kids were trying to have. She took off before we had even finished loading up the tree.

Me and the kids get home and a good friend of mine came over so we grilled hamburgers and hotdogs and build a bonfire. We were having a great time then she texts me that she was coming over. She got here about 9:30 after the kids were already in bed. Stupid me tells her that I miss her and want to try to work on things. She says she shouldn't have come and that she wants to move on getting D, and that she is a bad person. She wants to date people and see what is out there. She says I'm a good man and knows she won't find anything better but she just doesn't love me and doesn't think she ever will be able to again. She then went back to MILs.

I just want to understand what is happening to her. Why would she be willing to throw everything away while acknowledging that she feels like the bad guy. I'm willing to try and she has completely given up on our lives. Maybe she is just a horrible person, maybe she just wants to screw some other people and feels guilty about it, maybe I am just pressuring her too much..... Maybe I should let go

We had such a good thing going, great kids, great friends, nice house, I love her with everything I have. It's hard to accept that someone who I've known and loved for more than half of our lives can do this. She says she knows how illogical and irrational this is and that she wants to be independent and for me to move on as well. I can't understand how a loving mother could ever consider doing this to the kids at this age.