Met one-on-one with pastor/counselor. We did clear up a lot of what I was hearing as mix messages. We both heartily agree with you Sandi, this WW coming back to the nest will take MONTHS to get her to the point that she's truly sorry and able to see it from my side of the fence. Until then, I need to still be GAL, showing her that things will be different. She started working out this morning - a very positive sign. I haven't had her bite my head off for a couple days now.
Another prevailing thought from the counselor/pastor was when we are together, even my compliments are taken by my wife negatively, and responded to negatively. He figured out that I'm working on this, but that I'm most likely a more positive-spin person than my wife is. She can change, over time, and then mentioned if she had ever gone to counseling herself... HA! He was going down my list of things to talk to her about - NC, transparency in our lives (he mentioned this), MC (which he's still willing to do), and counseling for my wife. He knows as well as I do that I just can't tell her to go to counseling, but I think he might stress it when we're together.
His focus was to take steps to repair our relationship to where we can be friendly to each other, and then build trust. We'll see how Tuesday's session goes, as well as my 180's work on this weekend's activities.
Still working through DR book...
I agreed to do the shopping for Christmas for the family. She is still on board with meeting with counselor. I'll be having honest conversations about having access to her email and phone this weekend.
We're going to the Capitol and listen to some Christmas music - high school choirs and some actors in the rotunda. The dome here in Madison is as big as the one in DC. Family event that we've never done before. Sunday we go chop down our Christmas tree as a family as well. I will be an example of a husband that only a fool would leave. My cologne experiment has me down to Michael Kors and Dolce & Gabbana 'The One'. Probably going to buy both, what the heck.
I bought a bike on cyber Monday - will be biking with the kids in the spring. I didn't tell the wife - I'm sure it will get a reaction, but it's a present to myself for Christmas. I never get much, and have always said 'don't buy me anything'. That's a definite 180 for me.
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
