Black and white

[Painter]

I think your friend was probably right and I think it was a very compassionate thing to say.

In later years, I believe I have found that inner happiness you talk about. I've always been naturally optimistic, but it's more settled now, I'm not so easily impacted by others. I'm not sure if it has to do with age, or choices, or freeing myself from focusing on material possessions, or a mix of all of those. And the funny thing is that this is happening more and more as my health is less good.

I feel grateful every day for the hot water in my shower. I feel very lucky that I have the freedom to choose my work, and that I can work with healing to help others feel better. I think that work has done a lot to make me feel more satisfied with my own life. There is nothing quite like having a client get off the table and be completely stunned because the crippling pain they experienced, is gone.

I am lucky enough to get to play with art. I think this is something everyone should do - find the creative outlet that works for you, whether it is gardening, painting, dancing, singing, baking, needlepoint - whatever you can think of. As long as you feel joy doing it and it makes you focus 100% on what you are doing right there and then, it will lift you up.

A few years ago, I started going to a local church. This is not something I had done before, but it has been very enriching. I volunteer with some activities and enjoy the people I meet there.

Do I walk around in a constant state of bliss? In no way! I get upset, sad, angry, frustrated - but it is more like deviations from a normal setting, the needle goes back to rest at content and happy.

And I believe that H's choice to have an A actually pushed me further into this state. It made me more aware of who I am/would be without him, and that I liked myself even better.