New or false hope?

[JulieH]

JulieH,

I say feel all of what you are feeling, spew it out here. Feel the betrayal and the sense of his selfishness. And when the emotions have settled you can start to evaluate the bigger picture. . Yes. My emotions are all over the place. I am angry and I am vilifying and coming up with tons of things to justify. He told me he would not pay for insurance anymore so no surprise.

Lady V always says it's never just about money. There is likely something deeper here. It may well be worth digging around in what money means to you. Often if we look back in our FOO (Family Of Origin) we will discover some hidden gems. Maybe H FOO will explain some things

divorce busting coach once mentioned she thought child support issue was a power struggle. I don't think so. I have to think about this one

My sense of what I am seeing with you and H, is that money and material items hold different values and meaning. I wonder if when you chose H that there were a number of his other qualities and values and ways of being that made you for one reason or another over look this particular attribute H has with money.

. Thank you for suggesting I reflect on this. I overlooked how he is with money because of other attributes like, his honesty, insightfulness, logic, loyalty,and down to earth nature.

I guess it is the question we all ask ourselves when in relationship with someone else, is this a deal breaker, is this one of my non-negiotables. You may find JulieH that when it was just you and H it was easier to accept this particular attribute, however with the creation of a family it has changed your acceptance or heightened the unacceptability of this attribute in a M or in your H.

. Very true. I grew up with philosphy that children come first. he feels like he does a lot for children but I have different expectations.

I myself struggle with men who are not generous with their money. I am but I have no money because I tend to give it away in my relationships. But I also struggle to be looked after financially by the men in my life. I have to always pay my share or more. I kind of know what this is about and in my next relationship something to look for in myself.

I hope you can feel better soon about this issue. I feel like this is movement though.

. Yes. I was in limbo for a while and this is movement. I agree and am gonna keep doing what I was doing (focus on me and kids and no pursual of husband) and just see what happens. This is sign that he is not afraid to look out for his best interests so I should not be either when we go to court. I think I am angry and vilifying because I am hurt knowing that what he said about reconciliation is most likely not genuine. my suspicions were correct. I am gonna keep anger to myself. See what happens in court and get some sleep. Thank you there is more I want to think about regarding your post I am just so tired.