Don't know what to do anymore...

[Zues126]

I'm very surprised at some of this advice. Withholding sex? Encouraging him to get into counseling? Since when is DBing about trying to diagnose and control your partner?

I know how tough it is not to have your needs met in a marriage. Trust me on that! And I felt the same way you do, and acted some of the same ways your husband did. Funny, HE probably feels the same way you do believe it or not.

Painter, I'd encourage you to watch the three part series on "expectations in marriage" by andy stanley on youtube. 60 minutes in all. He says it better than I can.

If the only reason you're married is to get your needs met at all times consistently through the marriage, you can walk from him, but I don't think any relationship will be any different. Or maybe that man will be more affectionate, but there will be other issues. And you might end up with one that feels this way himself and leaves you for the same reasons. This is the real world, there's no happy ending out there, we make it ourselves by rising above this.

Beyond that you might find that you have deprived yourself of the opportunity to serve someone else faithfully. It's easy to think in an M that the benefits are what they do for us, but we gain a lot by what we do for them. Without an M you have no one to serve. That is a loss that doesn't sound like a loss, but turns out to be much more of an impact than we expect.

Not sure if you read my opening post on my latest thread 'black and white'. I'll cut this shorter than I normally do because I think Andy Stanley says it better than I could and I think you know my stance. Bottom line I'd say act as if God promised you that in 5 years you would have a fulfilling marriage if you did your part now. This also ties in to my latest post as well.

Vent away, but then step up and stand by your M!