Journaling I have to pay bills and W has not contributed. She routed her paycheck to bank account she opened without me. She said because I cut her off from the other bank fund (cash savings) she needed to take care of herself financially.
My thought is OK then stop using my CC to buy stuff and pay for your own cell phone service. If I remove her from CC account and her number from cell services then what??.. she will get extremely upset.. and the vicious cycle/jabs continues.
If I drop her how can I enforce (get W to help cover) large expenses like home mortgage, property tax, insurance, etc? These things are joint (in both our names).. so she would get dinged but I don't want to get dinged myself.. W is a spender.. "budget" is not in her vocab.
Perhaps I have to tell her that we both need to stop the malicious jabs. No one wins. I never saw or experienced this from W before (waywardness.. is evil). My W having trouble with co-workers too. She told me the other day her defense is to be that sarcastic person on top and make life miserable for the other person.. I told her that's exactly what she doing to us (sound familar??)
Alternatively, if we could work on the financial piece together.. put things back the way they were.. builds trust.. something that we both do not have for each other (she said she cannot trust me being there for her emotionally and I can't trust that she is not in an A). Could this be a start? But all postings here say to "drop the rope". Dropping the financial rope could hurt me too.
