Journaling. Yesterday evening after work W goes to get hair cut and I home with kids. S8 jumps on iPad (iPad account is under W appleID) to FaceTime with his friend and there I see it.. the OM name. She added his name to contact after I posted pictures of OM sext to W on blog. My emotional roller coaster cart went into a steep drop. I recovered but did not like the sudden drop.
Later that night, W ask if we could stand up aritfical Christmas tree. As we put up tree and hang some decor, S8 kid asked if some decor was real or fake. W responds they are fake. I chime in and say something like.. many things in this house, fake (in my mind I was making reference to MR.. thinking why are we having a Christmas party with friends when you are not here in the R.. yes in a way it is for the kids since it's kids' family friends.. but more for adults). W does not take the bait but after kids go to bed she said I know that remark about being fake was a sarcastic comment. Lately I seem to be unable to control my emotions.. I feel myself loosing control.
