Someone once said to me , about kids, don't worry about what they hear you say, worry about what they see.
Pho, you said "She wants me to leave him, she has some good points, but I can't let a 14 year old have a voice in my marriage." This is a perfect time to model and display what your trying to do. How you took an oath in marriage vows and are keeping your word. Explain to her the importance of following through on a promise, even if it is doing something you don't like. Explain that her father needs help, he's struggling and that you must be the strong partner for him and the children. This is a teachable moment for her and a great way to forge a stronger bond. She seems insightful and mature for her age, probably a street wise kid. This could bring you two even closer. Not a voice but an understanding of what a strong woman must do.
