dday, attempting to find clarity

[Fogg]

Try not to think about how detached you are, its a endless cycle where you might trick yourself into believing you are and then something draws you back in and you have an emotional response. I've had a bunch of disappointments where I did just that. I felt like I was failing or pretending when that detached feeling goes away and I get extremely emotional a few days later. You will have days you feel detached and things don't get to you and you will have days where you want to just cry and mope around.

I think your starting to accept this is whats happening and realizing the road ahead is an extremely long one, one you never imagined taking this long if it ever leads to anything. I think you realize you may not end up with your W and its just the reality of the situation, it makes you feel numb. Your doing fine, all normal parts of this process and you will revisit many different stages at different times.