As far as I can see and hear there is time, boodles of it.
PP isn't finished becoming PP. There is so much to know about PP.
Intimacy is best when you know so much about you that it can be shared. It isn't today is wonderful, or xyz occurred. It is about knowing who you are and your feelings. It is sharing your inner world with true honesty and openness with your partner.
It's raw and true, without the anaesthetic of substances. It first requires you are intimate with yourself. It is given a point of mutality with your true life partner and the gift of your inner world is based on love, love trust and respect.
It seems to me that PP is learning about that intimacy, is learning about who he is and what he needs from an R. I for one believe this is vital step before intimacy begins.
There is of course the naughty part of intimacy, even that requires we know our needs to share them.
V
First let me say what a true pleasure it was to see your name back on my thread dearest V. My heart lit up and I prepared to read slowly and digest your wisdom. I was not disappointed. Thank you for your time and energy, I hope you know I have always found your wisdom to be insightful and extraordinarily helpful.
While I do not believe I have much time left in my M, I do believe that I have time in my life. It didn't feel that way six months ago when I was living on the bathroom floor in a ball of tears.
I'm slowly watching events unfold and openings happen that I never could have dreamed of this time last year. It's exciting and inspiring. Yes, there are days when I wish I was raising a child and living a quiet life with my W, but not the quiet life I was living. Tomorrow is my 320th day of sobriety and I do recall saying on day 4 that if I had to lose her to get sober, I'd do it. Clarity is the greatest drug on the planet Lady V, and it's making me see all kinds of things in new light.
Please know how much you mean to me Lady V, you've been such a huge part of my path to healing.
Love, PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
I read books, went to counseling, posted on here, spoke with coaches, and threw myself into self development - all with the hopes that it would bring her back. She didn't have that kind of incentive. I did. And it fueled me. Pain is one hell of a motivator. I've never worked so hard in my life to change.
Look at what came out of your hard work! You have excitement like a fire under your tush now instead of pain. When you spoke to mut about your next year, your words were full of passion and hype. Keep going downhill. Keep the ball ever rolling! Now that you have a nice momentum it will be much easier. When you come back in a year, do not be surprised if a few opportunities are already lined up waiting for you.
Thank you for your post, I'm sorry things have been hard with you. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.
Thanks, but this is nothing, I'm just a tad whiny lately, lol. My thoughts are with you as well PP.
PP
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Congratulations PP, you are doing so well! Clarity is great. I am gaining it too, and realizing that I should have trusted myself better all along. How is woofie?
Hello my friend, 320, great news, You should be very proud of yourself. Really, it is no small feat to break the shackles that bind you. It takes a clear mind and strength of character to summon the determination to break free. Kudos PigPen
Thank you everyone. I'm very proud of it, but also look at this way - it's nothing. Everyday is a new day, and there are guys like Mutatio with seven years under their belts. My journey hasn't even begun yet.
People ask me all the time if I think I'll go back to it and all I can do is tell them how amazing I feel without it. Kind of odd to think there's something we feel amazing without, but still may bring back into our lives consciously. No thank you.
My W was in my town today to see her lawyer. How do I know this? Because after months of NC, literally not reaching out to me for any reason what so ever I got a text from her pointing out something innocuous but specific to our town. Something like "they've painted the post office blue!" and that was that.
Really? That's what you wanted to tell me? How adorable.
We confirmed a time to re swap Woofie next week and that was it, just a little poke to let me know she was here.
For those interested, Woofie is sound asleep on the couch next to me. He's been living it up between the beach, hikes, and chasing squirrels throughout my yard. The squirrels reek havoc on him as they are up twenty or thirty feet in the trees, but alas, he is not deterred and tries to jump up to reach them. He may be more heart than brains...
Cheers everyone, thank you for your continued support.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17