Back on these forums again 3

[Mona52]

Thanks pho and Di, I 100% agree with all of it. I cant explain it any more than you can. It is one of those bitter pills to just swallow.

Gmum, I feel I have like zero self confidence. I really thought, when I first started school that no one would ever really hire me. I had a part-time clerical job and that was as good as it was ever going to get. I couldn't see how I could possibly pass an algebra class! But the people on this forum told me I had to go to school, so I went to school.

They told me I had to apply for a job, but I felt so guilty leaving my clerical job that I could not. So One day I walked into the office and gave them a year's notice. I am not even exaggerating. I felt so guilty, like I was leaving them and I did not want them to be stuck.

A year went by and I could not bear to find another job. I trained my replacement and quit. THEN I found my first IT job. I DONT suggest this at all, we were flat broke, lol.

I was literally petrified my entire first month. I waited every day for someone to say "What the he|| are YOU doing here, you dont know anything about IT!" And they would not have been wrong.

Instead they paid me! My goal was to just not be the worst employee. I had a great work ethic, so I just found who I thought was the worst employee and tried to make sure I was better than them. As I watched everyone work, I thought I would finally see super secret technical difficult IT things. But the truth is, no one worked extremely hard, and nothing they were doing was all that technical and difficult.

Once I did a task once or twice, I was up to speed on it. I still go to work every day and expect them to ask me to do this tortuously technical feat that I will have no idea how to handle, and then for them to fire me. But so far, I do equally as well as some and way better than most.

I remember when I began I would come on here and explain to my friends how school would never help and it cant save my M and I have 3 kids and they need me and I am not smart enough and on and on it went. Every reason I gave NOT to do it they used as ammunition to make me do it, so I just bit the bullet and went to school.

All I can say is, "scared" or any other form of the word fear should never, ever stop you from doing something that will bring you closer to a goal. Find a hand to hold and jump with both feet. There are many hands on this board if you need them. We can pull you right along (probably kicking and screaming) but along you are going to go anyway, right?