Wayward Wife, my addiction, advice needed

[trumpet]

The addiction counselor and I have set goals to forgive myself and my wife. I was having a particularly bad day, so we focused on the M instead of me yesterday. I explained what I was trying to do, and he put my jumbled ideas into something that makes sense. His view on marriage is like mine, and like MWD, and like most on this site - most marriages can be saved.

I truly think my wife has moved on from the EA. The problem is that she hasn't shown conviction to me, as in saying 'me and the guy are done, I want to work on the M'. Instead, she let me know she broke it off with him, but I wasn't privy to what was said, they're still Facebook friends, still have each other's phone numbers, and could really start up at any time. She's now using 'we/us/our' instead of 'me/my/I'. That's good to see, but she's still not sleeping well at all, isn't working all that much on trying to make up, and from what I can tell is in 'withdrawls'.

The more I think and contemplate, it's apparent to me she just needs time, and not a MC breathing on her, or me breathing on her.

My addiction counselor mentioned that if she's not seeing the OM, and has SOME signs that she wants to work on the M, that me showing a little affection, lettign her know I care/love her would be a good idea. Deathly afraid of telling her that, as I want the 'definitive' answer of YES, I want to work on this M... but that might not come for weeks, or months.

I'm trying to stay relaxed in the morning, and try to have good conversations with her. Am I putting love deposits into a bankrupt heart? Time will tell, but so far she hasn't shrieked in horror when I told her I cared.