She Wants Me to Leave 3rd Time .....EA or not EA?

[isittoolate]

I'm in Stockholm, Sweden until tomorrow afternoon.

Last night there was a power cut back home(electricity substation burnt down)with the power on and off several times yesterday evening and overnight.

W texted me late last night re: power cut and then this morning rang me during her car journey to work for the first time since BD. She had a big story to tell re the power outage and how she had been awake half the night as the house alarm system kept being activated by the power outage (it comes on when all power is cut).

Also S11 was in the house alone during the first outage and was very upset when the power went out as he was left all alone in the dark. He cried and went in the street a little bewildered and scared. W felt very guilty leaving him alone like that. Of course I sympathised and validated etc.

It just felt good to talk to her in the morning for 20 mins as this is when we traditionally communicated when I am away on business even though it was because she felt guilty and needed to talk.

This evening I rang again to say goodnight to the kids but W wanted to talk. When I tried to end the convo a bit early she protested and wanted to continue.

We talked about the power outage, S11's nervous disposition, then a big conversaton about me paying for some of S8 and S11's social activities and school meals and me organising childcare for the kids. I had emailed her earlier with my intention to pay for this and to be more hands on with childcare and we had a discussion about how in the past she had always done it.

In fact she agreed that she liked to do it as she was the principal organiser for the kids and needed to know what had been paid and when,and what childcare was booked. She said she didnt like it when I 'tried to take over' - I was just trying to help !

But she thought it good that I was stepping up, as I would have to in the future (i.e. after separation FFS!!!!) - she said 'we haven't had a talk about the future.....'

Then the convo switched to tomorrow evening - W is due to go to a Duran Duran concert with a friend who is a Duran Duran nut. BUT it turns out friend is suffering from depression and hadnt told W and doesn't want to go. W is upset and might waste a ticket costing £75. She is trying to find a GF to go with.

I did the usual sympathise and validate and listen routine.

The convo was approx 30 mins which is the longest phone call we have had since BD. I ended it but I think she wanted to continue.