Unlurking, Rd II: Hitting reset

[SciDad]

Seems like a good time to revisit my goals. Scores are 1-10, with 10 being zen-like

* Being present in my life: I had been doing well, maybe 8 until I found out my wife is still seeing OM. I dropped down to about a 3, now working my way back up

* Start each day with a short list of easily obtainable short-term goals. I've been really bad about this one, I'll give myself a 2.

* Acknowledge my emotions - I'm very good at feeling all these emotions I'm having. Dealing with them is a different story. 6

* Be straight to the point - 6. I was able to tell my wife specifically how I was feeling about several things even after I saw her texting the OM, but I can't help thinking that not talking to her about what I found goes directly against this goal.

* Continue working on being a better listener - 7.

* STFU - 8. Might be to good at this one - also going to be important to allow myself to express frustrations in an appropriate way

* Do not isolate myself while at home with my family - Before I spied = 10. After, 7. Just didn't want to be around my W (all I could think of is how much of a lying, manipulative.... well anyway you can guess what I was thinking

*Establish and (stick to) a chore list for my kids to help out at home. I totally blew this on. Will do over the weekend. 0

* Help more with homework- 8. I've started taking over S10's homework so W can focus on S6. It's actually pretty enjoyable because we sit next to each other and help each other if a child puts up a roadblock. Essentially, we're a much more united front.

* Continue to ask (and listen to) how my boys' days are - 9. I ask every day and listen for the entire ride home

* Find activities to do together, even if it's building pillow forts in the living room. Seems like a 6 to me. We have an ongoing Lego war spreading from the kitchen to living room that we revisit every night after I pick them up, but that's about it. I'd like to introduce some variety

Work
* Explore the creative side to my research. Too much of my thoughts right now focus on the mundane, but my passion is in the novel. 8 - Starting a whole new research area for the lab I'm in based on a couple observations and a hunch I had. Feels great

* Explore my career options with an open mind. 5 - Career options hit the back burner. I scheduled a meeting with my boss next week to come up with some ideas, develop a strategy.

* Continue to network 6 - I'm a pretty good networker, but few opportunities have presented themselves. I'll look for more events going forward

GAL
* Take time to be creative. Learning guitar, writing, painting, singing, reading. It all helps

* Take time for myself. I focus too much on the needs of other and tend to ignore my need - 4. Meh, I'm not doing great on this one, but I knew it would be hard (that's why it's on the list)

* Exercise - 6. Skipped a few days, but generally doing daily calisthenics morning and night. I'll try adding cardio back in in the next few weeks

* Meet new people (meetup? Volunteering?) and re-econnect with old friends - 0. Utter failure - must do soon

* Once a month, try something new - 4. I'm cheating and including doing things I haven't done in years. Went to a concert, but I need to probably come up with a list and start picking things off one at a time. Kinda like a bucket list