After reading your previous thread, it seems to me like before dating or doing any reconnecting activities I'd want the following:
- commitment from her to end all romantic relationships (includes the no contact letter to OM) - commitment to show you basic respect (because that's what the family/kids need also) - willingly and voluntarily give you the means to verify that the R with the OM is over
Standing up for yourself and being firm in a loving way will probably do a lot to keep your head from spinning and feeling like your life is being controlled by other people.
