Ok. Major twist. Husband initiated in person conversation. Beginning of conversation was about upcoming court date and how upset he was about being blind sided. Also seemed to want to make sure all i am asking for is child support. I haven't talked to lawyer about this yet so I was under impression that was it. Maybe I can get Spousal too. I don't know. Husband is telling me I might get less which I don't see as possible. Will talk to lawyer. Over all tone I got with this part of conversation was discomfort and uneasiness. I felt kind of bullied or manipulated but I am not sure. I was defensive and so was he.
Next part of conversation he said he thought we should give this another try before committing to divorce. That he doesn't have much hope or expectations but If I agree, we should start a new slate, try marriage counseling, and date without discussing relationship problems to see if we can connect. That he has been lonely and miserable and depressed and wants to do this for kids and because I was his best friend and he realizes when we proceed any friendship will be hard. That he will go to court and continue to give me mandated checks. I asked him if there is or was Infidelity and he said no.(I believe this) I asked him if it was due to finances and he said no (don't believe this). He said he has been very angry and feels I pushed him out and realizes I have been angry and feel abandoned. I told him I was wrong in many ways throughout relationship and he said he was too.
Right now I am mistrustful... 1. Is he trying to buy time for financial or other reason? 2. I was moving on emotionally and am scared to go back to hope phase. 3. Was using anger and fault finding to move on emotionally, but if we are really trying to reconcile that won't help and I will be hurt 4. What if he found out about my postings on here and is testing to see if it's really me? 5. Worried that upcoming court date will sabatoge his desire to reconcile. Worried that he is saying this so I will be reluctant to ask for more from court, if that's possibility (waiting to talk with attorney)
Reasons to trust: 1. He has always been an honest, no games kind of guy. 2. Never saw him as type to walk away from family.
Reasons to not trust: 1. He said finances is all he is concerned with a while ago 2. He has always been a bit unfair and unable to ever see my side when it came to finances 3. The timing 4. He left us
Last edited by Cadet; 12/27/1501:41 PM. Reason: Links
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015