I don't have the time to reread your threads but I have few questions that I was wondering about. Just so I understand better your si.Sorry if it is repeating something already covered.
Firstly how is your W in general?Is she happy, depressed,eetc?Is her life good? Does she GAL a lot? Does she moop around the house? Is she negative or positive in general (a part from interactions with you).?
In your opinion or her words why is she still there?
How do you act around her? Are you silently churning everything in your head or are you actively present?
You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Enduring this situation would have many reaching for a bottle to get through.No matter how bad, you have kept dry. That shows character.
A lot of what you say here shows strength and character. I don't think that you want to run away but rather turn the page. It is understandable and normal.
Regarding interactions with W, is there something you can do to change the dynamics. After repeated subjection of such interaction it is normal to assume nothing can change it. And you don't want to force or pressure it. But don't assume......ttry something different.
My real advice for you now, is to choose some really special and challenging gifts to make for your kids (and maybe something for you) and concentrate on that. Give it your all.... time, effort, heart and especially focus.
Hearing your pain I am not convinced that divorce is worse than continuing as is. We bare it as a passage to something better.Thus is not as good as it gets
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
