My wife had an affair..

[Azzork]

Honestly, what should I be doing for me?

I'd start here:
A user on here named CaliGuy recommends making three lists.
1) A list of things you like about yourself
2) A list of things that you dont like about yourself
3) A list of things you notice in other men that you admire

Then, your goal can be to take things from lists 2 and 3 and move them into list 1.

So, can you make the lists? Maybe 5-10 in each? That should give you a starting point.