Mutatio, I am not giving up on him. I still love him so much, but he is so extremely self absorbed and I literally feel like my body is going to break down on me from stress and sadness. My jaw hurts all the time, now I am back to crying every day. I just can't take it any more.
Last night he told me that he is just as depressed as this time last year, he feels helpless and he feels like his life is hell. It is too painful for me to even write this post, but last night was like an exact replay of last year. All the events/thoughts/ etc that went into him breaking down. Except that this year all 4 of the major "stressors" that set him off last year are greatly improved. Every single one of them is so much better. Life is moving forward, problems being resolved, but H is still stuck at ground zero.
I have so many thoughts and I want to write them out and get feedback, but right now this is just too painful. I spent most of today with a friend, now home to get the kids from school, then off to MC.
I need a job and I have stepped up my job search this week. I have known this for awhile but it is crystal clear now.
