Hello ep!

You made it through Thanksgiving! Yes, it is sad he did not call, but you have to separate yourself from that. You sent him pictures, but you should refrain from that anymore if you can. I promise, if you stick to your guns, it gets easier. His relationship with his S is out of your control.

If you have to say outloud in a mirror "I cannot control this, I need to step away from this." Then do it.

Then get ready to fight through the overwhelming feelings of "THIS IS NOT FAIR!"

It is not fair. You now have 100% of the responsibility with no help. And just when you think you got it down, these feelings start to choke you again, and you just want to lash out at H to let him know what a jerk he is. If he only understood how mean not calling S was, he would call, right? Wrong! If you let him know, you will push him further away.

The only way he will start to call S again, is if you stop sending him updates and picts.

I know how retched it is. I am very sorry you have to do it.

Also, you do not have to respond to his text about money at all.

Will it make him mad? I have no idea. But you are not responsible to make him happy or sad right now. You will drive yourself crazy trying to fill THAT role.

Just because our WAS's get mad, that does not mean we failed. They are mad because they are realizing what we are realizing. They cannot control you any more than you can control them.

Stick to your guns. Show him you are a strong, independent person! It is the fastest way through this and it will keep you the most sane.


Me: 42
H: 45
M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs
D: 17
D: 15
S: 12
I kicked him out 8/21/15
I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!