I will.
You know my wife and I are texting back and forth today, and again she's like when are you going to improve? I'm like it takes time you did the most devastating thing you can in a marriage it takes time. I mean try being me! WTF
Anyways, I say look we have the opportunity to build a better us, we can take this shitty situation and make us better in the end! it's exciting that we can take us an make us better..plus a bunch of other positive things. I said lets do stuff for us, be selfish for us.. go bowling, go for walks, goto a museum..

She responds with "well I think you want fireworks. You want it to be lovey dovey" I'm like WTF are you talking about? I said, make us better! go bowling goto a movie, go for a walk build US, an where the F*K did I say lovey dovey? So now I'm just pissed off! I want to tell her well maybe if we opened up to each other more and were lovey f*king dovey you wouldn't have strayed! Made that 1x mistake or wtfever you want to call it.

I'm trying to heal, trying to get better, as I said to her simple things trip me up and smack me in the face an get the mind going and racing. I want to get through this and get better and get US better.. but she immiediately reads into things and says you're putting pressure on me (the counselor I maybe doing it).. I wasn't though. I said if you want us to go back to the way we were then we're wasting our time and this is going to happen again you or me. I'm fighting this fight and then getting this BS.. the worst part, was I was starting to feel better today after our earlier talks, then this. Now I'm like why bother! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. I will goto sleep before I get submitted in jiu jitsu, I'm not willing to tapout. I maybe getting there sooner with her than i ever thought, I want this to work.. but I don't know if she get it.

I'm in the belly of hell, the lowest ever looking for light, I see some light and then bam! Why the hell should I bother, where it's almost as if I say hey lets go out to dinner you and me.. her general response would be "that's too much pressure. you just want sex. you just want to be lovey dovey"
hahaha.. I must be crazy as all f*kn hell! lol
someone HELP ME! HAHAHA