Rd moving on 12

[Sotto]

Hi RD, thanks for the update. Like my sitch and Pink's, things trundle along until or unless you have an awakening, or they do, and then it all changes up.

For me I think your sitch is rather like Pink's in that your W would love to keep you close and be part(ish) of the family and your best chum too. Equally, she has been sharing a bed with 'friend' 'OM' or whatever.

So, I think my message to you is similar to your message to Pink. Your W will do what she will do, when she will do it. At the moment, she wants things from you which keep you attached - but she doesn't have the wherewithall just now to offer a full R to you.

Given that, I think it is best to plough your own furrow and live the best life you can. I get where you are coming from on the dating side (Pink excepted of course!) However, I think your life can grow in so many other ways...and I would still love to see you doing more GAL things just for you. I know how busy you must be with the kids - but even once every few weeks...just to have an RD centric activity would be a good thind I think.

The other thing that ties you to your W is money. I can't recall your £ arrangements, but it seems as though your W left with virtually nothing - and she just 'taps' you for money from time to time. If you actually settled and separated your finances (I understand you can't consider D for a while yet) would that make a difference? The whole money thing reminds me a bit of me and my Dad when I was a poor student..

As for the whole 'slamming the door' thing. It's a hard balance to get. I certainly think it is important to work on your own insecurities and this helps respond in the way you want (ie: not driven by fear) if your W reaches out. Also, if you feel you slipped back on the mindfulness, how can you move forward again in this area?

Keep posting RD....I missed you xx