I will be sleeping in our bedroom tonight. We can put S4 in bed with me if you want his bed or D6 and you can sleep in her bed tonight." (my italics added)
I kicked WW out of MB about 8 months ago. She has not slept there since. As I have mentioned, my WW had an elective surgical procedure today. She invited my hostile ILs to take care of her. I was wondering how they would use this to bait me, and now I know. Read her email again. Notice the absence of any common courtesy. It is not even a request. It is a matter-of-fact command. Warning: my ego is going into overdrive right now.
As far as I can fathom, there is no reason she has to sleep in the MB. She could easily sleep in S4's room. I am sure if I challenged her, she would have some excuse why sleeping in my S4s room would not work for her. There is also no reason why I need to leave the MB. There are two beds. The only thing I could think of is if she wants my step-MIL to sleep in the bed with her (a thought that makes me vomit in my mouth). But she also said the she will tolerate S4 in the room with her. So what gives?
I was thinking about the following reply: "As you are recovering from your surgery, you are welcome to sleep in my bedroom, but I am not leaving the bedroom unless you have a valid reason for me to leave. We can separate the beds, if you'd like. Have a speedy recovery, RAI". (I intentionally wrote "my bedroom"; she ceded her right to that bedroom a long time ago)
However, I am sure they are looking for a fight. I am also sure that they will try to make me look like the bad guy. Then her pit bull L will just have more fodder to paint her as the victim and make me look like the villain. They can also use this as an excuse to vilify me to the kids. It is a lose-lose proposition for me: lose my respect or look like the villain.
Do I grin and bear it? Do I reply at all? Do I run this by my L? I don't want to give them the satisfaction and I also don't want them disrespecting me in my own home. Do I insist on remaining in the room? do I just yield on everything, taking the long view that they will soon be out of the house? Perhaps I should just take out all my stuff from the room preemptively for the night and not say anything. Do I set a time limit so she does not overstay her welcome?
The more I write, the more the answer is clear. In the long run, it would be beneficial to me and my children to swallow my pride and yield like water. The hostile ILs are not going to be here forever. I now think a better, slightly less snarky reply would be: "As you are recovering from your surgery, you are welcome to sleep in my bedroom. Please do what you need to do to get better. In the future, however, please try to be a bit more courteous in your emails. Have a speedy recovery, RAI"
Does anyone have any guidance or thoughts? Am I about to make a huge mistake?
