Unlurking to share my story

[SciDad]

I just had an ugly epiphany. The OM just went through a divorce and my wife was "supporting" him through it (remember we were all friends until I found out about the EA).

What if the reason for the OM's divorce was a plan between the two of them so they could get together? He's got a lot more money tied up in his marriage (mortgage, cars, college costs) and could stand to lose a lot more financially if his W became bitter and wanted to take him to the cleaners.... My wife has no savings and no retirement - nothing I can go after (although I have both savings and retirement). Maybe they focused on the financial aspect and decided that it was OK if only one of them left their spouse?

Outside of the obvious emotional entanglements my wife may feel even more compelled to stay devoted to the OM. She may even feel that he left his marriage for my W.

I guess this probably shouldn't be an earth-shattering discovery, but it helps me realize just how far I'm going to have to go with DBing before he's out of the picture. And it will serve as a good way to dampen my enthusiasm when I find signs of thawing....