Maybell XXXVII: Unpacking

[Maybell]

Thanks, Mozza, that was very timely! Men fall harder and earlier than women? That's surprising to me but I believe you. We have been alternating communications, and for the most part I stop first. We'll see what happens.

Mr. Fantastic had started asking if he could alternate having one or two of the kids for dinner once a week, in addition to having all three of them together for dinner once a week. I knew it was only a matter of time till this blew up, and now it already is. Sometimes he takes one kid, sometimes another, sometimes two at a time. He doesn't choose who in any order and he doesn't keep track. Everybody has had one turn, and twice he's taken two kids. Tonight, without any discussion except with D12, he's taking her, and they have Christmas shopping plans. S9 has been really missing him, especially since they didn't see him at all for almost two weeks because he traveled for Thanksgiving, and he only called once. This morning S9 was near tears because it wasn't D12's "turn." I asked him if he'd talked to his dad about it and he said he tried to but that his dad just told him that he'd had a turn and that tonight it was going to be her. (I can imagine exactly how this conversation sounded; S9 emotional and a little whiny and Mr. Fantastic trying to be firm).

I told S9 that I was sorry and I didn't know what to tell him, that I didn't control his dad. He said "Ok," but he sounded kind of miserable about it. Is there anything I should do? Should I reach out to him? Our communications now are basically through email. I don't think he can stand to talk to me any more than I can stand to look at him. I doubt he'd welcome my input much. What about anything I can say to S9? I do try to comfort him and I've made it very clear how important he is to me, but it's not me that he wants.

Interestingly enough, S7 seems to be managing all right with the level of attention he's getting. He accepts it when it's there and doesn't complain about missing it when it's not. He's excited when it is time to visit his dad and leaves him without expression of regret when that time is over. I'm not sure if this is good or not.

Advice welcome...