Hi all. Came back to post because while I followed everyone's posts I just feel my story is over
The last couple of weeks of stuck to not speaking to EXW about anything other than kids. That hasn't stopped her contacting me but I'm polite and listen without really saying much
I'm sort of lost at the moment and it's more to do with dropping the rope without being heartless or uncaring
EXW had a nice car when she left but it was expensive to run and she sold it and bought something much worse and just as expensive to run
She has had no MOT ( certificate of roadworthy ) for three months now and the car has many problems that make it worth next to nothing.
I offered to buy EXW a replacement as I know she cannot afford to continue to run her car She asked for time to think as she didn't feel it was right for me to have to pay for her car A few days later EXW text me to accept but I had Ickes her on my phone so did not receive the text. She called later from a landline and asked if I had received text and I said no. She explained that she had wanted to accept my offer but it' didn't matter now I was not in good form and said ok
Every nonth I pay 200 euro in EXWs account as she still pays two direct debits for the house and a personal loan she took out for us Last month around he 19th EXW asked could I pay the money in early as she wanted to buy S16 some presents for his birthday. I didn't do it for a couple of days and I got a text from EXW to say her car insurance had been cancelled because the direct debit was returned unpaid. I sorted insurance and paid in the 200.
EXW called me on Monday , S17s birthday to say could she borrow 200 euro for presents for Christmas I didn't really answer and we talked about other things She told me her Dad had made a DVD out of some old VHs tapes of S20 riding his first motorbike at 2 years old and would I like to see it. I answered I would love to and could she leave it at the house and I would get it copied
At the moment EXW thinks we are spending Xmas together but I plan on not being there
My questions for my friends on here are,
1. I have dropped the rope and if anything I'm the one making it clear to EXW that I'm not interested in another R but obviously I care for her so feel leaving her to sink in her financial mess is the wrong thing to do By the same token it seems OM is nothing more than a friend ( Intel from SIL ) so should I help ? Not for any other reason than she's desperate ?
2. My insecurities have ended any chance of reconciliation and I do feel that while I'm there for EXW I'm making her suffer while she is depressed By making her suffer I mean she reaches out and I slam the door ( figuratively ). I'm not saying she's trying to reconcile but she is trying to be a friend and supportive Should I open the door ? I can't stand anymore pain and feel that closing the door regardless of EXWs efforts ( or not ) maybe easier
3. I'm slipping back regards mindfulness and while EXW has no idea , she is on my mind way to much Will this be forever ?
4 I have no interest in dating and have tried to see how I felt. Obviously Pink is the exception here !!!!!!
I'm lost , I'm not in the emtional turmoil of a newcomer but I feel that I've reached a level I can't get past
I'm very lucky compared to others
I got my kids , my house , 99% of my income and EXW tells me she doesn't regret our M , I'm a great dad , I'm the one person she can trust , she's sorry for how she acted and wishes she could go back two years and take anti d's to stop this mess from every happening I get no spew and plenty of positive signs from EXW. ( 2 calls and ;4 texts on my birthday last sat ).
I feel bad for posting because I see the heartache some posters get and when I read they are being told that their Ex is happier without them it upsets me let alone them. EXW tells me she is very unhappy and doesn't know what to do and has even asked me to tell her. ( I advised I/C )
I suppose after posting all of the above I should just be grateful that I'm in the position I am
Sometimes you forget how helpful it is to write things down
