Open Question: what is the proper balance between acting "as if" and an be acting like a doormat?

I will remain cordial, but that's about ask I can commit to. I may still do some nice things now and again, but I won't go outta my way to make her feel better. I will try to be more selfish, but I struggle with how far to go.

Me-38 W-38; T-15 M-12;
S10 and S6
BD - July 2016; EA confirmed; confronted Aug 2015
EA dissolved 12/2016

Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option - Maya Angelou