Its hard to believe that she does not feel separated. We have no physical contact anymore, none. The most we have had is when we were decorating the Christmas tree and her finger touched mine as she handed me an ornament.
Physical touch is not all that separation is about. That's how you feel, and you are feeling lousy over it. That's not how she feels. She wants more space from your presence in the house.
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Because I know my W has it in her head that we are S and so much so that she is willing to entertain the idea of OM, secretly though.
Exactly! She is entertaining the idea of having OM in the house. She wants you gone out of the house, so she can have him over. Get it?
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I have read Flights thread and to see how his changed to a point that he had enough and told his W that he would not have an open MR was something that will stick with me.
That's fine. What would you say if I told you that I have read many stories of H's telling the WW the same thing......and when she did not end contacting OM, then the H didn't know what to do. Well, if he gave a boundary and she didn't honor it, then what? Know this......the WW will test whatever boundary you give her!! She will push the envelope. Be prepared to carry through with the consequences of not staying M to her, if you hand her that boundary. It sounds good, but it does not ensure the end to an A or contacting the OM.
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I don't understand why is she ok with me going to her parents house for Christmas, allowing the kids to not know what their parent relationship is, with about a month to go, More then enough time to get the S agreement sorted. Yet she does no work on it. and she complains that we are still in the same house.
B/c she wants to hang onto that part.
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If she wants out so bad why is she dragging her feet??
She wants all the advantages of being M to you, without any disadvantages. She wants to keep everything she has through the marriage(that she likes), and have OM, too. She wants you to do what she says. She wants to rule. Is that so hard to understand?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
