Pink's journey - living with pain

[Sotto]

Hi Pink, firstly I do think you are a little hard on yourself and you should recognise and applaud just how far you have come. The list of things you have done well is just as long, if not longer, than the areas you'd like to improve.

I agree with RD - the big thing for me is that your H is telling you - I want to share your bed AND I still have feelings for OW. That for me is a huge boundary issue - though I respect your choices. But do you really want H around 'as a family member' and acting like a spouse when OW is still on the scene in some way, shape or form.

I agree with RD that you (and we all) deserve more, given what has happened. What is more? It is giving up OW, maturely realising it was a bad choice, ending that R and volunteering what is needed to repair things in your M.

What is happening falls way short of that and is cake eating - seeking the reassurance you are loved and valued while maintaining that illicit relationship.

For me, I think you would be wise to withdraw for a while. Tell H that Xmas can't be like Thanksgiving. That he doesn't get to have 'family time' AND keep things on the go with OW. It's an either/or.

I appreciate it is tough, but from the outside that looks like what's happening to me. You are still on the rollercoaster and getting tired of the ride I think.

Take care and keep posting my friend xx